i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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