I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
