yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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