Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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