About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
