I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
