there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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