but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
