We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
