i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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