You really coming over, don't trick.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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