Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
