can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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