We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
