Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
