I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize