the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
she looked like the before picture.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize