you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
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