Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
