who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Even my vagina gasped.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
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