Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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