right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Still dying that you shit outside
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
How many fucks given?
0.12846
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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