Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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