I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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