Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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