is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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