He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
