She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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