my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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