**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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