Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize