Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
my being single is dangerous.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
