We need to rekindle our bromance
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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