and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize