So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I am available for nakedness
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
