"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
