dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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