I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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