at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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