i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
