yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize