I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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