I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
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