She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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