I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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