uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
