I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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