i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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