Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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