I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
i dont even know how to be here
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
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