8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Randomize
