her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Randomize
