All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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