sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
