ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
