I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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